Origin of In a Perfect World

By Adam

 

            “Do you have your book here?” said Katie, approaching me with a smile on her face, the smile that I would later describe vividly as a smile that most people get as the aftereffects of watching a well-scripted, well-acted comedy.

            “Well, I can’t sell it on the fair grounds,” I explained in reply. “I would need to get permission by buying a pass of some type [from the fair board].”

            “Oh, Nathan had it and I read some of it,” Katie replied with that same jubilant smile.

            I nodded in reply and walked away. I had too much to think about.

            Katie was a living memorial of my social awkwardness. I had asked her out a year and a half earlier and she implied rather loudly that she would never go out with me because I was a freak.

            Some hero, aren’t I?

            Nathan was Katie’s “friend.” Whether or not that relationship was anything more than what I knew was unclear, seeing that I’m not in any social sect that has anyone who Nathan or Katie would trust that information to. I guess socially I’m a loner, but I entertain myself to no bounds. I could go on about my social inaptitude, but I wish to discuss something else.
            Nathan was a character in my first and latest book, In a Perfect World, which I had started selling across from the LeMars Community Middle School earlier that year. As motivation for letting me use his name in my book I promised to provide him with a free copy of the latest “version” (I went though several versions to get all of the spelling and grammar errors removed and I believe it still isn’t “there” yet, “there being completely correct) of the book, autographed by me for free if he desired it. Why was so much power invested in me, the author? In a Perfect World wasn’t published; too many people would want to burn all copies of it for not making any sense. The real reason was, as briefly elaborated on earlier in this paragraph, I use two other living people’s names and my own, but if I wanted to publish the book including the two other people’s name (which is the only “fun” way, according to me) I would have to get the permission of both of their parents. That would be no fun at all, especially seeing that the mother of the female teen with one of “The Names” really, really strongly dislikes me for numerous reasons that I don’t want to clutter this up with, seeing that it’s fairly cluttered up already. I will explain my lack of a relationship with her later.

I also wanted to use a third name, that of my friend named Will, but he refused to let me unless I paid him a considerable sum of money that I didn’t have. I politely declined and settled with the opposite of Will so he couldn’t sue me, Won’t, and that is that character’s name to this day.

            It is also interesting to note that I used several names of businesses and one event that might be protected by some law or laws I have no knowledge of, and they then would sue me for selling a book with their business’s / event’s name or names. Yes, I’m do realize that I could have asked permission from the owners or creators of the businesses and the event. I would like you to ponder the likelihood that they would allow those or that to be put in a book that isn’t even published and most likely cannot be, which also is written by an extremely strange (that is self-proclaimed, however many people you actually know me title me that as well and I thus agree with them.) guy who was thirteen at the time.

            In a Perfect World is really just an inside joke between me and two other real people who starred in the book basically the opposite of how they really are. To get this expanded inside joke you must understand that this means that I portray their alter-egos as the characters with their names. I believe Nathan is perhaps the kindest, most trustworthy person I know and in the book...well...I won’t spoil any surprises for any potential reader so I’ll just say that his character attempts to kill the character me.

            The second person it is an inside joke with is Mackenzie. This is the “female teen” I referred to earlier without really elaborating at all on. I will attempt to do so now. Mackenzie really dislikes me. Though this isn’t exactly hate, (I won’t ever fully understand women.) she will purposely turn around and walk the other way or, if impossible, pretend I don’t even exist which, to her satisfaction, really makes me mad. I respect her intellectually and wish that she would appreciate my intelligence, if only my intelligence. Numerous times I have attempted to start important discussions about some of Life’s Greatest Questions, only to be blown off. You, as the reader, or perhaps listener, think she is extremely rude or at the very least impolite, which is exactly what I want you to believe, at least temporarily. The next paragraph will hopefully clear that all up.

            I asked Mackenzie out. Several times is much more accurate. This was after the Katie Fiasco of late 2004, as I just now thought comical to call it. Each time I meant it a little more sarcastically, though she didn’t seem to appreciate it. I finally shut up after she got furious and nearly yelled at me. It was deserved, but I still cringe at the thought of it all. This was the end of any chance we had together, even as friends. Yes I know, I’m always the hero.

            I was very surprised when she said that she “didn’t care” if I used her name or not. I asked her what she meant by that and after receiving the same answer three times. Finally, I asked if I could use her name in my story. Slowly and angrily she said “Okay! I don’t care!”

            Nathan and Mackenzie were friends. Mackenzie apparently wanted Nathan as more than that, as Nathan told me that Mackenzie asked him out. He said he had declined politely to her request.

            I, having the weird, “disgusting,” dark and ironic sense of humor I do thought it would be worth writing a book about a character me dating a character Mackenzie. This would be made possible because the character me’s world is perfect (hence the title, “In a Perfect World”) though it is unknown why and/or how by the characters and supposedly and mysteriously the author. The reason for the world in the book being perfect for the character me (I know it’s confusing; just bear with me here) is found in the first book of the series ironically called the “Perfect World ‘quadilogy’” (that is a made-up word which means a series of four) of which In a Perfect World is second in. According to In a Perfect World, however, all copies of the first book were destroyed mysteriously. I’ll let you in on a little secret, though: The first book in that series hasn’t been written yet! I came up with the main basis for In a Perfect World without realizing that it would become a sequel to a book which doesn’t even exist. Like I’ve said before; I entertain myself to no bounds.

            First the negative: the problem is that this “Perfect World” project has lost its steam and it will probably, sadly, remain a the second in a “quadilogy” in which the other three books don’t exist; collecting dust in my computer hard drive while remaining a sequel to a book that doesn’t exist for all eternity.

            Now the positive: Though In a Perfect World only has sold four nationwide and no copies outside of the nations, finishing it made me feel the best I had that entire year. Rereading parts of it actually causes me to smile happily at the bits of subtle humor I missed: I’ve discovered myself to be my own biggest fan. “In a Perfect World” was a great opportunity for my to sharpen my writing skills and the reaction I got from the few people who read it was at least fairly positive. Looking back, “In a Perfect World” was simply fun to write. It was also nice that a girl who would never speak to me, even to reply to me, went out of her way to compliment my book.

 

My Writing Style

 

            I believe that everyone should write about their emotions instead of ignoring them or leaving them bottled up to affect our lives. As you have learned in “Origin of In a Perfect World,” I have major social problems with girls, so I quite frequently write about it and/or them on my computer. One time a girl I loved moved away, and so I wrote lyrics to a song which doesn’t even exist regarding that. It’s so much better to write about things that bother you than to just leave them to churn within you causing various negative effects to who you are which can lead to actions that then damage us for the rest of our lives because we said something that destroyed a whole relationship or a reaction to an accident which made a person we didn’t know hate us. We should learn from past experience, but not dwell on them. After we have reflected on what we should do if something similar to the incident we recently experienced occurs again, we should pick ourselves up and move on.

            I, for one, am remarkable bad at that. I wallow in my despair in self-pity. In other words, I can’t pull myself out of even a moderately deep emotional “rut,” call it what you will. As of the time this was published, I am still mad at myself for something I did wrong about a month ago. I do realize that I am a hypocrite.

            My writing style is a combination of Douglas Adams, (mostly only adults will recognize his name) Lemony Snicket, (I think that most preteens will have heard of him, his real name is Daniel Handler.) and perhaps a little George Orwell, for my style contains the same aura of hopelessness when I do some longer works and I am also known in In a Perfect World to step back and explain (or in one case attempt to explain) where I am coming from (where ever that is) or why something is the way it is in my novelette. It is interesting to note that in my latest work, which I will hopefully attempt to get published if it is nearly as good as the first three pages, has a narration which reminds me of that of C. S. Lewis’s in Out of the Silent Planet and H. G. Wells’s in The Time Machine when the narrator is told a story by an inventor who invented a time machine (quite obviously) and tells him about his adventures through time, though not space.

            Simply put, I write because I love the “rush” I experience when writing and/or finishing something that I even slightly enjoy. I can only describe this rush as a burst of unconditioned happiness, such a rare occurrence for a pessimistic teen. I do realize that this expression has been used numerous times before, but I believe writing was what I was “born to do.”