Bullshit!
As a special feature, OMAFL Stats presents: "The Team that Any of You Could Have Drafted." While it doesn't have LT or LJ or that guy with the cheesy mustache in the phone commercial who loves Peyton Manning, this is the most kick-ass team I could assemble that anyone could have picked up for themselves on draft day. Ain't hindsight wonderful!
Round 1: Willie Parker - Willie was the first pick in round 2, which means that everybody had a shot at him and passed at least once. And what would you have gotten if you had picked him up in the first round? Well, his 13 touchdowns in 13 games have given him the fourth most fantasy points of any NFL running back going into the fantasy playoffs.
Round 2: Reggie Wayne - Raise your hand if you thought Reggie Wayne was going to be the top fantasy-scoring receiver in the league at the end of the regular season. (Oh, put your hand down you lying bastard! You did not!) And since he wasn't drafted until round 3, that means that any of you could have had him in round 2. (Do you see how this is working now?)
Round 3: Donovan McNabb - McNabb was drafted in the 5th, which means that he was totally up for grabs in the 3rd. And do you remember how red-hot he was early in the season? (Remind them, Tommy.) But wait, you protest! What about the injury? Well, when McNabb goes down, you just pick up Jeff Garcia, who has been one of the hottest QBs out there over the last three weeks. Beside, we've got another QB a little further down this list.
Round 4: Darrell Jackson - I originally had Brian Westbrook in this spot, and I hated to give him up, but when I had Westbrook here my wide receiver squad ended up a bit weak. If you look at the top-scoring wide receivers in the league this year, most of them are the guys you would expect, and so most of them were drafted early. On the other hand, we'll see a couple of good undrafted running backs further down this list. As for "D-Jack," as I refuse to call him, he's got ten touchdowns, and the fourth most fantasy points of any WR out there. And he was still available at the end of round 5.
Round 5: Da Bears - The top-scoring fantasy defense by a pretty wide margin, these guys sat by the phone until early in round 6. Don't you wish you had picked them up in round 5?
Round 6: Javon Walker - He's been up and down this year, but he's got 7 touchdowns, over 1000 total yards, and he's currently 9th among receivers in fantasy points. I drafted him in round 8, right before...
Round 7: Drew Brees - This guy has just passed Peyton Manning to become the top QB scorer in the league. And yes, I got him in round 9.
Round 8: Chris Cooley - Okay, I can see the yawns from here. But he's got five touchdowns, and is sixth in fantasy points among real tight ends. And besides, he's just a fill-in for...
Round 9: Marques Colston - Yahoo has him listed as a WR/TE. He doesn't play tight end? Who cares. The point is that even missing three games due to injury, he still has more points than any real tight end. And since he was undrafted, you could have had him in round 14.
Round 10: Maurice Jones-Drew - He runs the ball, he catches passes, he returns kicks, and he speaks of the pompetus of love. (Well, if he doesn't, he should!) He's got more fantasy points this year than any running back whose name doesn't start with "La," and he was undrafted.
Round 11: Marion Barber III - Yes, the second backup running back on the list. And he's also outscoring his starting counterpart, along with most of the rest of the league. He's ninth among running backs in fantasy points, and he was also undrafted. And if you don't like the idea of drafting a guy named "Marion," there's a tall cowboy they call the "Duke" that'll come by and straighten you out, pilgrim.
Round 12: Da Bills - A backup defense, just in case somebody drops an atomic bomb on Soldier Field during practice, and a couple of Bear defenders have to miss a week or two. The Bills are fourth in fantasy points among defenses.
Round 13: Nate Kaeding - You need a kicker. Kaeding has more fantasy points than almost any other kicker out there. And since, like many kickers, he wasn't taken until round 14, he could have been yours in round 13.
Round 14: Robbie Gould - The only kicker with more fantasy points than Kaeding. Undrafted.
Note: If you don't like drafting two kickers, replace Kaeding or Gould with Wes Welker. Okay, he's mainly a kick returner, but only eleven wide receivers have more fantasy points than Welker this year, and we're starting one of them at tight end. Or Travis Henry. He was undrafted, and he's 14th among RBs in fantasy points.
So there you have it. This could have been your draft in September. Yes, we all would have laughed at you then (instead of just Luke), but we wouldn't be laughing at you now.